Is it possible for women NOT to get hassled??

[avenue]

The best part of Women's Weekend was being with some amazingly strong and beautiful spirits doing something we love to do. That kicked some serious A$$!! However, the weekend was plagued with irony in that we couldn't just climb and enjoy climbing with women--we were constantly being hassled (and nearly sexually assaulted) by men.

Saturday at the mountain crag, we were bombarded with unwanted beta--we're smart, we CAN climb...just give us a minute and we'll figure the move out! Drunk adjoshis were doing nothing but shouting at us while we were on the wall. And then as evening drew near, and our group of gals were the only ones left at the crag, one drunk adjoshi decided to come up to us and strip down, shaking his pathetic wang in our faces and asking for "sex-uh, sex-uh" and "hand play, hand, play." He wouldn't leave. After quickly finishing the last climb of the day, we packed up as quickly as we could. As we were leaving, the pants-less jag decided to grab Jenn's arm. She promptly hit him in the face with her soft-sided cooler, Ariel hit him on the back with her water bottle, and he fell down. We high-tailed it out of there as fast as we could.

This sucks for several reasons...one, if this had happened in any western country, that jag would be in jail. Unfortunately, justice isn't on our side here. Two, if we had been a smaller group--say two or even three girls strong--this situation would have been MUCH scarier as the **** had at least 60 lbs on each of us. Such a shame. And a disgrace to the people of Korea.

Sunday we climbed at the outdoor wall. Amanda was leading and an adjoshi comes over and criticizes the way Jenn was belaying (ironic because this guy didn't use safe belaying practices himself...) and attempted to CHANGE THE BELAY DEVICE without asking Amanda or telling her to clip in with her daisy. The girls on the ground started shouting at him, telling him not to touch the rope until we got Amanda down. After some arguing, Jenn was flustered, Amanda was irate, and the rest of us were super annoyed.

But, like I said, the girls all enjoyed each other's company. I know we tried things that we wouldn't have tried if we weren't in the company of all women. It was a validating, inspiring and encouraging weekend, despite being tainted with unwelcome "advice" and sexual aggression. It is just amazing to us--all of us who were there--that we couldn't just "be" and do our own thing. That was the major bummer of the weekend.

[Chickenlegs]

I cannot believe that guy did that! He would definitely be in jail for sexual harassment and public intoxication, at least! After living here in Korea, I am a HUGE fan of public intoxication laws like the States and many other countries have. I'm also a fan of pepper spray and mace... doubt you can get that in SK!

I hate that the other stuff (unwanted beta, etc.) happened to you guys, but, unfortunately, that happens really often, regardless of gender. It's called the "foreigners-are-completely-inept-at-life" syndrome. Many adjoshis and quite a few adjumas have pretty severe cases of it. :)

Well, I hope those things didn't spoil anyone's weekend. It sounds like you guys still had a really great time. Hope to see you ladies soon!

[shanja]

Ladies I am also extremely upset that anyone anywhere should be subjected to such "behaviour". On the flip side you seemed to have handled the situation with strength and dignity so more kudos to you all. Sad but true the unwanted attention and beta thing happen, and I've had it happen to me and friends of both genders in Oz, in NZ and even in Thailand...not just Korea. That is a sad sad reflection on the world. Kyung Ah (doubly shamed as a Korean herself) says if you can get a digital pic of such creeps or any way to ID him at all, the police here can and will take action. Also, Pepper spray and electric shocker sticks ARE available here in Korea. I've actually seen them in department stores and in newspaper ads. If anyone is interested KA and I could hunt down the place to get them for you. Just don't be sparing when you use them on such losers. Again our thoughts go out to you all.

[skinsk]

Sorry to read about this!

Was it a climber who sexually harassed you?!?

A few comments (not meant to offend anyone except the individual offensive offenders!):

I had something very similar happen to me in Daegu in 2005, by a bus driver (I was the only passenger in the middle of nowhere). I yelled at him in my best Korean/worst English and he disn't physically touch me. I did however, get the bus route#, bus# and drivers name from the posted info above the door. As soon as I got to the city I jumped off, got a taxi and went to tourist info for help. The police were able to find him, brought him in, took a detailed report, etc. (I still have a copy of it). After his grovelling apology, I was pressured to not press charges. I accepted his apologies, forgave him, but wanted to press charges, as I am guessing most victims of these crimes 1) don't report them or 2) don't press charges. I also felt targeted as a single foreign women, whom he perceived would not be able to do anything. I am at least hoping he was fired, as I sent copies of the report to his bus company, various expat and tourist forums, etc. Most Koreans I dealt with were very embarassed; I assured them I knew he was an aberration and did not represent koreans, men, bus drivers, etc. I am also sure he had a better side, as his apology mentioned his family, etc. (He did seem less apologetic, more angry when I still wanted to press charges.) Keep in mind that sexual harassment and domestic violence and crime against women are the most underreported and procsecuted crimes in the West as well. Most Koreans, even drunk ajoshis, don't behave like this. Many drunk Western men behave worse! Don't believe me, visit Cambodia, Thailand, etc?

Cameras -- use them. If you can get video or photos of the attacker, you can post them, bring them to the police, in general shame him. Anyone who was hear for a bit should remember the case of the woman who didn't clean up after her dog on the subway. Instant celebrity. At any rate, it could help to identify this man. . . again, he is an aberration, but I do believe that offenders are more likely to repeat, and choose victims who appear helpless. Next time it could be a child. Nothing wrong with fightling someone off if they attack you, but I prefer to cut and run-- with the evidence. If it's ever going to be "possible for women NOT to get hasseled" women are going to have to push for consequences. Beating up the guy is probably generally not the best course of action:fish: though I could almost visualize the action "bam" "whack" "pow" reading Nicole's description!

Grabbing your rope/belay device when you're belaying is dangerous and bad manners, if not criminal. Keeping calm and sending someone (other than the belayer) to get the guy away is always best. The climber might clip in when she reaches a bolt until this is settled. If this guy is a climber (did you get a name or a gym?) than he should know better-- I have had hikers come up to me (while I was belaying) and grab for my device! I've also had curious folks touching gear set up as top-ropes! KA-- what would be a polite way to ask someone not to touch something because it's a safety issue? Maybe that could be printed on the sleeve of the next shirt:rolleyes8 ? When Göran and I had the log dropped on us, we did talk to the climbing club (the guy profusely apologized) about how incredibly dangerous that was, and that such bad judgement could have caused serious injury (put a big gouge in my helmet). . . I didn't want to cause problems, but I was shaken up and I wanted him to be aware of just how dangerous that was! Keeping cool and rational (we didn't see these guys until hours after it happened, when we were off the multi-pitch) and treating it as a possible one-off (it might be) is probably best. I can guess that y'all were a little super sensitive on Sun, given Sat! Probably thought the outdoor wall was a "safe" bet!

I'm always interested in how others have handled similar situations. I'd especially be interested in knowing how Koreans feel we might handle it? Remember that stupid behavior at crags is not a Korean trait, though:doh: not even entirely male;). Stupidity, rudeness, unsafe practices take place in the west, and even by westerners in Korea! I think it's really important not to blame Korea or Koreans or Korean-ness for what are individual cases of bad behavior!

Glad you were still able to have fun?!

[Mandalynn]

The "belay guy" was a climber at the outdoor wall I go to frequently. He seemed to be on good terms with one of the staff. Im not entirely sure how one exaplains in Korean that I would personally like them to follow a safety protocal ( ie clip in with a daisy chin) and even ask me if I want the device/belayer changed. It's a bit out of my vocabuluary and in a moment of panic, all I could manage was "shut up". So much for making nice with the local, eh? Unfortunately, I still really irritated with it!

In the end, it was a really great weekend! Us women had a great time! I consider t future story potential... remember that one time...

Nice work on the leads Jen! Good tenacity working the route Joann!

[shanja]

Don't touch! Hands off! etc in Korean is:
야! 손대지마세요! Ya! Sohn Dae Ji Ma Se Yo! or
야! 만대지마세요! Ya! Mahn Dae Ji Ma Se Yo!
The Ya! is like our "Hey!" and stern.
Mind your own business in Korean is:
네일이나신경쓰세요! Ne Ill Ee Na Shin Gyeong Sse Se Yo! or:
너나잘하세요! Neo Na Jal Ha Se Yo!
Just be aware that none of this is particularly polite (but it isn't swearing, just abrupt and sharp in tone). The stuff about tying in with a daisy etc...sorry beyond me to give you an accurate translation. Oh by the way;
Piss off you stupid pervert! is
야! 저리가! 시발변태놈! Ya! Jeo Ri Ka! Shi Bal Byeon Tae! This is really rude and so appropriate only when polite requests are dead and buried as a hope.

[skinsk]

Thanks Jake (or should that be KA?)-- did you write it so big or is that my computer. . . anyway, maybe the women's weekend crew should've had some shirts printed up:p

. . . most people don't tie in to belay (with a daisy, rope, webbing or cord is irrelevant, though I use a daisy and tend to suggest others do because I am a big advocate of the girth-hitched daisy as it works for me)-- though as women or lightweight people it's often a good idea (I tend to clip in because I don't have the balance to catch lead falls if I don't). . . but telling others to do so might be perceived as a MYOB, since it's hardly the rule. . .

[Ricky]

Wow! I can't believe this guy actually shook his wanger at you. That's absurd. You should've kicked him in the junk. Good on you girls for tag teaming him.
It's crazy I've heard so many stories of girls being harassed, grabbed, ect. but I've never really experienced anything like that myself. I'm sorry to hear you were a victim of this offense, but when I think of the look of shock that guy must have had on his face when you gave it to him, I can't help but smile.
Which crag were you at?

[gwalinor]

itsd terrible what you have to put up with. a disgrace. and this from people who belay from about 30ft away from the wall. its really too bad that you cant do something you love without people getting up your face about it.

[Hikemonster]

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